OH, YOU GOT YOUR DEGREE FROM GOOGLE? OKAY. (how to talk to your stylist, and why I have a love/hate relationship with the internet)

Maybe you’re intimidated.

Maybe you’re incredibly OCD.

Maybe you have post traumatic stress disorder because your last stylist DID NOT only take off the 1 inch you specified.

Whatever the case, approaching your stylist with the right mindset, the mindset of beginning a relationship and a partnership, is everything. The goal isn’t to just get an amazing haircolor or haircut, the goal is to go from this “first date” and grow it into a beautiful long-term relationship where you can feel confident in knowing that wherever your wild style inclinations take you, that you and your stylist will be able to conquer them together.

Here are some things to keep in mind that will hopefully bring some clarity, perspective and inspiration to your conversation.


Pictures are always helpful.

But be very specific. Photos can be misleading and/or complicated. What you’re seeing that you like may just be the cute side-fringe but the stylist might see it as a whole, a stacked A-line bob with a side sweeping fringe and disconnected layers.
Try to point out what you love about it, where you see it working for you, etc. If the picture is styled stick straight and you like your hair more victoria-secret-esque, talk about how this will look when you style it. The photo is just the centerpiece for conversation not the end-all-be-all of your consultation.

Food for thought: If you’ve showed every hairstylist in Tampa the same photo and NOBODY can get it right, chances are you’re not explaining what you really love/hate about it. Sure, there are some wacky stylists out there, but all of Tampa can’t be missing the mark, try to communicate as clearly as possible.

IF you’re feeling stumped, or are just looking for a change, bring in a few photos of what you really HATE, or aren’t looking for at all. This information is sometimes even more helpful in showing us what direction to take you than photos of what you like.


Attitude is everything, and let’s be honest here. We can type in “how to” do… well… anything (like at home Ombre, EEEEEEKKK!!!!!!!) and we instantly feel like we are capable, knowledgable, talented… etc to do whatever we want.

Your parents might have told you you can do anything you set your mind to, but they didn’t mean in 10 minutes or 1 hour or with 2 arms and one mirror. Most things take serious serious education/experience/trial and errors. And the first part of being able to achieve the things we really want, is to accept the actual truths about them and develop a very wholesome respect for them.

I’m not saying to not do your research, or ask questions. But when you’re challenging every single thing your stylist is saying based on some random persons opinion (who is probably living in a basement or something somewhere) then there starts to become a barrier in the communication.

Knowledge can be power, but don’t misinterpret a tiny glimpse of information into a very complex topic as “knowledge”. You’re arming yourself and honestly setting yourself up for disaster.

Take it from an incredibly stubborn person, being open and actually listening is a huge part of the dynamic you establish with your stylist.


We all need to maintain a very healthy dose of something called “realistic expectations”.

You actually can’t be platinum blonde (when you’re naturally dark) AND have shiny healthy hair that is down to your waist.

You can’t hop on the “no-shampoo” trend AND have hair that smells normal or moves and styles in the same way as shampood hair.

You can’t endlessly flat-iron those pieces of hair around your face AND expect to keep them there.

You can’t have shoulder length-fine hair AND achieve the perfect Taylor Swift waves.

You can’t have 1 hour AND expect to go from black to blonde.

Some things in life just are the way they are.
It’s not good, it’s not bad, it just IS. It’s science. And the sooner we embrace the truth and prioritize what is the most important thing to us, the sooner we will able to let go of expectations and let go of the frustration that comes along with it.

So how are you feeling? Please let me know.
I know that I’m being rather straight forward with you (YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!) but it’s because I really want to help you. I want you to be able to have the hair of your dreams! The best hair day… hair year ever.

Relationships are some of the most complicated dynamics that we experience in life, and while we can’t necessarily control all of them, you CAN control the one you establish with your stylist. Forget first dates, let’s all get married and live happily ever after.

Too far?

Cheers to better communication. Cheers to good hair despite especially because of our odd personalities!!


  1. breezybarrett · August 14, 2013

    Amen, sista!


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